GREAT FOREST- MORNING
Nack the Weasel: *sniff* Ahhhh. What a great day for Thanksgiving hunting, isn't it, Bark? It's so nice to get away from the city once in a while, especially without having that raving lunatic to screw us over again.
Bark the Polar Bear: *looks apprehensive, then nods*
Nack: I swear, out of all the rooms in the Casino Park Hotel, why did Mogul have to put us all TOGETHER?! Every single day, I wake up to that idiot screaming the theme song to that show about ponies or whatever, it makes me want to shove a pillow up his beak and toss him out the window. Oh, wait, I tried that already. How on Mobius did he survive THAT one?!
Bark: *coughs into his fist*
Nack: Hmm? Alright, alright. I get it. Pull yourself together, Nack. You're away from him, so don't even think about it. You're a ruthless bounty hunter. You took down Sonic the Hedgehog multiple times, and you are gonna bag yourself a Thanksgiving meal without breaking a sweat. *stares ahead at a turkey in a patch of woods* Why, what's this? Well, whaddaya know, our first customer.
*pulls Bark into the bushes*
Alright, here's what I need you to do. You're the muscle around here, so once I shoot it, you go check to make sure it's dead. I like to do a job in one shot, but if you have to put it out of its misery, do it. Understand?
Bark: *nods and assumes fighting position*
Nack: *puts his finger on the trigger* Okay, say goodnight, pal. You're as good as mine....
Bean the Dynamite Duck: WHOOPS APOCOLYPSE!!!
Nack and Bark: GAAAAAAYAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!
*Nack's gun goes off and scares turkey away*
Bean: Heeeeyyyyyyyy, guys! Sneaking off and having a birthday party without me, eh?? Well, looks like somebody forgot their cake, and it just so happens that I was GOING to give one to you, but someone threw it into a crater nearby. So, yeah, the cake is a lie after all.
Bark: *sarcastically points to the cake crumbs on Bean's face*
Bean: Yep, I have no idea what you're trying to say. I think I must have a very attractive looking schnozzle for you to be pointing at it, though!
Nack: *anger steadily building*
HOW. DID YOU. FIND ME?
Bean: Simple, Simon! All I had to do was follow the sound of loud, cursing rants about me! So, what's the explodymajig for, Mr. boss-man?
Nack: *grabs Bean by his scarf*
That, Bean is a fully loaded gun. Soon, the "explody" thing will be jammed straight up your rear. Do you know what that means, PAL?!
Bean: Um, does it involve peanuts? Because I have an allergy to those.
Nack: WHY, YOU LITTLE-
Bark: *steps between them and shakes his head at Nack*
Nack: You're right, Bark, you're right. I still need him for my plans.
*sighs* Alright, idiot. See this? It's for hunting Turkeys. I usually do this every year, if I can help it. When I'm not locked in a prison cell, that is.
Bean: What's a turkey, your highness?
Nack: It's one of those Mobini birds. Y'know, they were served at that ancient peace feast between the Albion Echidnas and the Felidae centuries ago? A lot of people eat those around this time of year.
Bean: *looks distressed* Mobini birds, huh? Why do I suddenly feel this crushing sense of bitter irony in my stomach?
Nack: *fiddles with gloves* Er, well kid, how do I put this nicely… you're a-
Bean: Never mind, I'm just hungry. Let's go blow something up!!! *runs ahead* Yahoo!!
Nack: *looks at Bark, who shrugs and walks in Bean's direction* Eh, that works too. Hey, wait up! I'm the boss here!!
LATER THAT DAY- GREAT FOREST, AFTERNOON
Nack: Alright, stuffy. You're mine now. *puts finger on trigger*
Bean: Ooooohh, yeah, that's right! You're going down, Stuffy McChickenThingamajigPants!!! Mr. Boss-man's gonna take you down and out! Go, weasel, go!!! Kill that there Jenkins Brother…
Nack: Bark, restrain. NOW.
Bark: *clamps his hand on Bean's mouth and looks at him apologetically*
Bean: Mmmmm-hmmm!!!!! Hmmm-mmomm-mamm!!!!
Nack: C'mon, c'mon…
Bean: *pokes Nack's gun* Too slow! EXPLODEY TIME!!!
*throws bombs at the turkey, who runs away frightened while the explosion knocks the team backwards*
Bean: Look at him go, the coward! Come on back anytime, we'll take you on! BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!!!!
Nack: Bean. Do you know how many turkeys I've found during this hunt?
Bean: Err… math isn't my strong subject… Bark, help a Barbie out.
Bark: *raises his hands repeatedly*
Bean: Not too sure, but I think that means more than ten. You'll have to be more specific…
Nack: And do you know how many turkeys you've scared away, leaving me humiliated?!
Bean: Oh, that's easy! Five!
Nack: NO. THIRTY EIGHT. And that's NOT counting all the mobinis who WEREN'T turkeys. AND those Overlanders strolling around the forest for no apparent reason. AND some Badniks that Mogul's probably going to make ME pay for.
Bean: ………..So, like, twelve? Sorry, lost count. Mr. Pocket Calculator has a cold, so…
Nack: You know what? I don't care how much you cost me. I don't care how many times my fur's been singed from your bomb explosions. But you have single-handedly cost me my prizes, my dignity, and quite possibly my sanity, and I will NOT stand for ANY OF IT!!!!!!!!
Bean: Y'know, you're sitting down.
Nack: *stands up and slaps his head* Oh, blistering Bivalves… Go AWAY!!!!!!!! GO AWAY from my SIGHT, go be a frickin' moron somewhere else, I don't want to see you in this forest again!!!!!
Bean: But I thought…
Nack: You've got five seconds before my new Thanksgiving dinner becomes ANNNOYING DUCK. And take your mute sidekick with you, got it?!
Bark *looks at Nack as if to say, "What did I do??"*
Nack: I wanna be alone! Go on, leave! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!
*throws hat on the ground and stomps on it in a rage*
Bean: *with a sad expression* Fine. You want to be alone, I understand. Come on, Bark, let's leave Sir Temper Tantrum in peace.
*walks away dejectedly*
Bark: *looks at Nack, shakes head and walks away*
Nack: Hmph. Brainless fool, why did I even team up with him, anyway? Who needs partners, I shoulda gone solo from the start. I can shoot a stupid Turkey with or without goons working for me.
THAT NIGHT- NEAR MOGUL'S CASINO PARK, EVENING
Nack: *walking towards the Bar n' Grill*
Man, all those hours and not a single feather for my efforts. Damn. What a waste of time. After all that, I think I'll just drown my sorrows at the Bar tonight. *sighs* Not that anyone's going to be there, 'cause they're probably all in their fancy underground hideouts, celebrating without me. Happy Thanksgiving, ya freaks. What a pathetically stupid holiday.
*Pulls open the door of the Bar, and is suddenly surprised by Bean who jumps out at him*
Bean: WOOP-DE-DOO, SURPRISE FOR YOU!!!
*Pulls back to reveal that the bar is filled with all the currently active bounty hunters, Overlanders, and Mogul's employees, along with a giant stuffed turkey.*
Nack: Wha- Bean? Bark? All you lot? What- How- Why are you all here?
Coconuts: Actually, Bean said if we didn't come he'd blow us up…
Bean: AHHH-BAH-BAH-BAH! No talking during the emotional moment, boys. This is what the reader's been waiting for.
Nack: You'd really do that, Bean? You'd bring all these goons in here with a giant turkey, just to make me look bad in front of a large crowd? You'd stoop that low, to take away any shred of dignity I ever had?
Bean: *nods head excitedly*
Grounder: Uhh, y'know, if you don't LIKE it, we can just leave…
Bark: *pounds his fists together and motions for them to sit back down*
Nack: Why…. I oughta… I oughta shoot you in the face, ya big lug! *slaps Bean on the back*
Scratch: Was… was that a term of endearment??
Coconuts: He never did learn how to properly thank someone…
Nack: Thanks, Bean. I mean, no one's ever really done this kinda thing for me before. It feels nice, y'know. For a second, I felt like I was a top-tier villain again!
Bean: Aw, shucks. Just doin' my duty, doody-do!
Bark: *nods head in agreement*
Nack: Well, what are we waiting for! It's party time!!
*everyone raises their glasses and starts yelling*
1 HOUR LATER- BOTTOM OF THE BARREL BAR 'N GRILL
Nack: *slurred* Ugh… I'm stuffed. That was the best Thanksgiving meal I ever had. Boy...
Coconuts: *takes away Nack's empty plate*
*sarcastically* Glad you enjoyed yourself. If you'll excuse me, I'm going out for another keg of 10-W-40 for the workers.
Grounder: Ooh, ooh! Me three, buddy!
Scratch: Hey, don't go without me! *clucks* Bwah-ha-ha!!
Coconuts: Say, Nack, you look a little off there. Had too much? Bet you think you're so spoiled, being an ORGANIC and all.
Nack: Ahh, what do you know, butler monkey? You can just shove it up your robot a-
Coconuts: Are you threatenin' me, ya lousy weasel?! Is that a threat!? I can take ya on!!
Bean: HEY, easy easy now, partygoers! Wouldn't want to upset the boss man here, now… WOULD YOU?
*raises bomb and cackles*
Coconuts: Eh, on second thought, I'm gettin' outta here, pronto.
*runs out the door* Hey, Scratch, Grounder! WAIT UP!!
Nack: Ya know, ya didn't have to do that… but thanks anyway. Y'know, Bean, I really owe you one today. This wouldn't be such a great Thanksgiving without you, so… I'm sorry for snapping at you today. Hope you can accept my apology.
Bean: If this has anything to do with non-cannon fan pairings, then I'm sorry mister, but you're not my type. Thanks for asking anyway!
Nack: Ah, get outta here, ya crazy loon.
*pauses* Hey, Bean, I was wonderin'… who made this huge turkey anyways? Didn't know you or Bark could cook…
Bean: Oh no, it's not mine.
Nack: Then where did…
*Bark falls on the table, unconscious*
Nack: HEY! What the…
*door explodes into pieces*
Ebony Hare: So, YOU'RE the no good louse who raided my stash and STOLE ALL MY FOOD!!! You're a dead man, Nack the Weasel!
Nack: EBONY HARE!!!??!? Criminy, where've you been all these years?
Ebony Hare: Keepin' a low profile… until NOW. Sic 'im, Blackjack!!
Nack: Listen, buddy, ya got the wrong guy. It was that DUCK who…
*Blackjack socks him in the face and proceeds to smash him against the wall*
Nack: HEY, WHA- OWW! Get yer- YOOOWW! STOP RIGHT NO-OOOOOOWWWWW!
Bean: And so, all's well that ends well! Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!!
Nack: BEEEAAAANNNN! I'LL KILL YOOOOUUUU!!!